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How Caregivers Can Discuss Incontinence With Loved Ones | NAFC

Raising the subject of incontinence is not the easiest thing to do. Learn questions that may help you talk about this delicate subject with your loved one.


Raising the subject of incontinence is not the easiest thing to do. Especially with a family member. What should help set your mind more at ease is that you are coming to this conversation with love and respect. You are concerned and want to help your loved one live their life to the fullest.

It makes sense to find some quiet time when you can be alone with your family member. If it helps, try to think how you might want to be approached if the roles were reversed. Once you have created as calm environment, you can ask the following questions to gauge where they might be in dealing with incontinence:

  • Do you ever have difficulty making it to the bathroom on time?
  • Do you need to urinate more than every 2 hours or more than 8 times as day?
  • Do you need to get up more than once a night to urinate?  How often, if ever, do you reach the toilet in time?
  • Do you ever need to wear a pad or something to protect your clothes from leakage?

Many people have had to initiate this conversation with someone they love. Several have shared their stories on the NAFC message boards. By reading how others have approached this situation it can give you some perspective. Perhaps you will uncover something that makes what you’re going through a little easier, a little less scary. And in turn, you might just be able to share your story helping someone else farther down the line.