The Best Sex Positions If You Have Incontinence Or Pelvic Organ Prolapse

The Best Sex Positions For Incontinence Or Pelvic Organ Prolapse

The Best Sex Positions For Incontinence Or Pelvic Organ Prolapse

We all want a satisfying sex life.  But sometimes, medical conditions can get in the way of that. If you struggle with incontinence or pelvic organ prolapse, sex can often be a source of great anxiety. Fear of leakage, odors, or even pain can sabotage intimacy and leave you feeling undesirable or anxious when it comes to intercourse. There are many things you can do to prevent incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse from interfering with your sex life. However one of the simplest things you might try changing is your sexual position.

Your sexual position can make big difference when it comes to easing anxiety about leakage or pain and enjoying sex. Certain positions can put lots of pressure on the bladder, making it more likely that you may have an episode of stress incontinence. And if you have pelvic organ prolapse, some positions may feel more uncomfortable than others.  Here are a few sexual positions you may want to try, depending on your condition.

Sex Positions If You Suffer From Bladder Leakage: 

Just as you may experience bladder leakage when you sneeze, laugh, or workout, putting extra pressure on your bladder or urethra during sex can also cause incontinent episodes. This shouldn’t hinder your sex life. While it may make you feel anxious, there are ways to avoid bladder leaks during intercourse. Women who are concerned about leakage during sex should avoid positions that put extra pressure on these areas.

 Avoid:  The missionary position, or all fours.

Try:  Lying on your back with some pillows underneath your lower back. This position raises your pelvis and helps to reposition your bladder, reducing the extra pressure.

Sex Positions If You Suffer From Pelvic Organ Prolapse:

Pelvic Organ Prolapse (POP) is a condition in which your pelvic floor is weakened to the point that one of your pelvic organs (bladder, uterus, or rectum) “falls” into your vagina. Many women with POPs report feeling a heaviness or bulging feeling in their vagina, or a feeling that they are sitting on top of a ball. In severe cases, the pelvic organ may protrude past the vaginal opening. 

While this condition may leave you feeling uncomfortable and anxious about sex, rest assured that sex is still completely possible and will not affect the POP at all. Many women report having great sex even with a POP and, since it is extremely difficult for non-medical professionals to detect a prolapse, your partner probably doesn’t even know it’s there.

However, certain sexual positions can create discomfort in women with POP. Here are some positions to avoid, and some to try:

Avoid: Standing, “Cowgirl” or “Reverse Cowgirl” (where the woman is sitting on top). Gravity is not on your side here, and sitting or standing upright will only create more pressure on your pelvic floor during sex.

Try:  Modified Missionary Position: Woman is lying on her back with a pillow under her pelvis and her partner is on top.

 From behind: Woman is lying flat on her stomach or in supported kneeling position with her partner entering the vagina from behind.  (Note: Avoid this position if you have a rectal POP.)

Above all, be sure to communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Sex should be enjoyable for both of you so if something feels uncomfortable or doesn’t make you feel good, speak up.  And, if you’re still having difficulty finding a position that works for you, talk with a pelvic floor physical therapist. They’ll help create a custom treatment plan to strengthen up your pelvic floor muscles, and can suggest other tips that may make sex more enjoyable to you.


If you are worried about leaking during sex, you may also want to practice kegels. Kegels can help strengthen your pelvic floor so that you have more control over bladder leakage. Want to learn how to perfect your kegel? Read our how-to guide!

Your Guide To Personal Lubricants

Your Guide To Personal Lubricants

Sex is a great way to connect with your partner. But as our bodies change, certain conditions can make sex more challenging than it used to be.  For those with pelvic floor issues, it’s common to also see a reduction in natural lubrication. And as women enter menopause, the decrease in estrogen levels can reduce the amount of moisture available, and can make the vaginal wall thinner and less elastic. And even if you aren’t yet experiencing menopause, common occurrences such as stress, lack of sleep, or other medical conditions can often lead to vaginal dryness.

Vaginal dryness can cause discomfort on it’s own, but it can wreak havoc on your sex life, making it painful and uncomfortable. Lucky for us there are a plethora of choices for personal lubrication that will have you back on track in no time. If you experience any dryness during sex, try using lubrication to help remove the unwanted friction and make sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner. 

Popular Types Of Personal Lubricants

Water-based lubricants  

This is the most natural feeling lubricant and one of the most poplar. Note that a water-based lubricant will dry out faster than other forms and you may need to reapply it during sex.

Silicone-based lubricants 

Silicone lubricants are a bit slicker than water-based ones, and they may be used in water. They also last a bit longer than water-based lubricants so you won’t need to apply them as often. Avoid using silicone-based lubricants with silicone sex toys though, as it can deteriorate softer silicone sex toys due to how the molecules interact with other silicone products.

Hybrid lubricants  

Hybrids are a blend of water-based and silicone-based lubricants. They provide the feeling usually associated with a water-based product, but they won’t dry out quite as quickly. Note: because these are typically 90% water-based, they won’t work well in water.

Oil-based lubricants 

Oil-based lubricants – including petroleum jelly – are the least commonly used. Coconut or VitE oil are good daily options to use for general vaginal dryness. However, oil-based lubricants should never be used with condoms, latex, diaphragms, or rubber, since the oil will weaken these materials and may cause them to be ineffective.

Everyone’s preference is different and what may work great for one person may not be the best choice for you. Don’t be afraid to try out different types of lube to find one that you like best. 

ASK THE EXPERT: Is It Safe To Have Sex With A Vaginal Prolapse?

Is it Safe To Have Sex With A Vaginal Prolapse?

Each month, we ask our expert panel to answer one of our reader's questions. To learn more about the NAFC Expert Panel, and how to submit your own question, see below.

Question: Is it safe to have sex if you have a vaginal prolapse?

Answer: Yes! A prolapse occurs when a woman’s vaginal wall weakens and collapses, causing the uterus, rectum or bladder to fall into the vagina. However, in most cases, it is completely fine to have sex as long as the woman feels comfortable.  And, having sex when you have a prolapse will not cause any harm to the bladder, rectum or uterus, nor will it make the prolapse worse.

Some women with a prolapsed organ may feel some slight discomfort during sex. Using lubricant can help, as well as ensuring your pelvic floor is completely relaxed before you begin. Trying other positions may also alleviate any pain you are experiencing too. Talk with your partner about what feels best for you.

Are you an expert in incontinence care? Would you like to join the NAFC expert panel? Contact us!

Bladder Health and Sex

Bladder Health and Sex

Understanding what is normal during sex and what is unusual can be challenging. After all, sex is a very private experience and differs for every person. Generally speaking, there is no reason for your bladder to empty during sex or for you to feel extreme discomfort or experience pain during sex.

As you can guess, the health of your bladder can directly affect your sex life. 

Two common reasons individuals experience pain or discomfort with their bladder during or after sex are: bladder pain syndrome and stress urinary incontinence.

Interstitial cystitis/bladder pain syndrome (IC/BPS)

Bladder pain syndrome is the continual sensation of pressure or pain on the bladder. This syndrome typically affects women and leaves individuals feeling as if they have to urinate when they don’t have any urine to pass.

Consider making dietary changes and practicing bladder retraining so your bladder begins to hold more urine before experiencing the urge to go.

Relax before engaging in sex to ensure as little stress as possible. Stress can cause flare-ups and trigger discomfort.

Stress Urinary Incontinence

Stress Urinary Incontinence or SUI occurs because of weak pelvic floor muscles and/or a deficient urethral sphincter. This weakness can cause the bladder to leak during exercise, coughing, sneezing, laughing, or any body movement that puts pressure on the bladder. If sex is particular jarring, SUI can be affected.

Consider exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor and limit caffeine intake. Always empty your bladder before sex.

We hope this peek into how your bladder health can impact sex was helpful. If you have experienced any of the symptoms noted above and haven’t talked to your doctor, it’s time to schedule an appointment. Additionally, we feel it’s important to share your health with your partner if you continue to have sex while experiencing some of these bladder health concerns.

Join us on our forum to talk more and learn how others have dealt with issues like these.  

Four Tips On How To Date When You Have Incontinence

Four Tips On How To Date When You Have Incontinence

Having incontinence can put a damper on a lot of activities for many.  Some people are so scared that they will have an accident they won’t leave their home, let alone go out with friends or on dates.  If this sounds like you, you should know that there are things you can do to treat your incontinence, and tricks you can use to survive the dating world. 

Here are our top four tips on dating when you have incontinence.

1. Know Your Options. 

Being educated about what treatment options are available to you is half the battle.  Make an appointment with a doctor to talk about your symptoms and find a solution that’s right for you.  Don’t be scared of this step – your doctor can educate you on many types of treatments, ranging from very conservative, non-invasive approaches to more advanced options such as surgery. Once you start treating your incontinence, you’ll gain more confidence in your ability to go out without having to worry about leaks.

2. Change up your habits. 

Avoid indulging in bladder irritating foods when out and about to lessen the risk it will cause an accident.  Things like alcohol and caffeinated items are high on this list. Keeping a bladder diary for a couple of weeks can help you identify your triggers so that you know what you need to avoid in social situations.

3. Plan ahead. 

Know where the closest restrooms are so that if you need to head there in a hurry you won’t lose time searching around.  It can also be helpful to have an extra change of clothes on hand just in case an accident does happen.  Keep a spare in your bag or car for emergencies.

4. Be open with those you love. 

Thinking about being intimate when you have incontinence can be nerve-wracking, but opening up to your partner can help ease the tension and take a weight off your shoulders.  Talk to them before you’re in a situation to have sex so they know what to expect.  If they get hung up on it, chances are they aren’t worth your time anyway.  However, you’ll likely find that being open and honest with them will help you both relax a bit and will create an even more trusting and caring relationship.

Don’t let incontinence limit your social life.  Learning how to treat and manage it, and knowing your personal triggers, will give you the confidence to get out there and start living a more connected – and full – life.  

Tips to keep incontinence from interfering with your sex life

Tips To Keep Incontinence From Interfering With Your Sex Life

If you struggle with incontinence and have concerns about leaking during sex, you're not alone. The American Foundation for Urologic Disease (AFUD) reports that one in three women with stress incontinence avoids sex due to fears of leaking during intercourse or orgasm. But incontinence during sex doesn't have to be an issue.  

Below are some tips to manage your incontinence and reclaim your sex life.

Be Prepared. 

Believe it or not, your behavior prior to sex can have a big impact on your chances of leaking during the act.  Here are a few tips to help you avoid an uncomfortable situation:

Avoid bladder irritating foods or drinks a couple of hours before bedtime.  

Not sure what your food and drink triggers are? There are some common ones, but you can also track your own habits for a week or so to determine what foods and drink you.

Limiting your fluids prior to having sex.

After all, the less you have in the bladder the less likely you may be to have a leak during sex.

Practice "double voiding" prior to sex.

This is when you go to the bathroom, wait a few minutes, and then go again to empty any residual urine that may still be present in the bladder.

Use protective bedding.

In case you do have an accident, at least your mattress will be protected.

Try a new position. 

You may find that a new position creates less stress on your bladder muscles, making leakage less likely. 

Strengthen up "down there".

Regular pelvic floor workouts can do wonders for women who experience incontinence. An added bonus?  Studies have shown that by strengthening your pelvic floor muscles you may also experience stronger orgasms and find sex more satisfying.

Talk about it with your partner. 

While this is an uncomfortable discussion to have, the mere act of telling your partner about your condition may relieve some of the stress associated with it. 

Talk to your Doctor.

If you've tried the steps above to no avail, consider talking to your doctor about your condition. Incontinence is not a normal part of aging and many things can be done to correct the situation. Your doctor can tell you about options that will best fit your needs.  Need help finding a physician?  Click here.

Incontinence During Sex - It Happens To Men Too

Incontinence During Sex Happens To Men Too

Prostate cancer is one of the most common types of cancer in men. According to the American Cancer Society, 1 in 7 men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime (only skin cancer has a higher rate).  And, while many men will go on to survive prostate cancer, the side effects of treatment can be difficult to deal with for many.

A common treatment for prostate cancer is a radical prostatectomy, or the complete removal of the prostate.  This is generally considered a good approach especially if the cancer is contained within the prostate gland and has not spread.  However, one side effect of this procedure is often incontinence.

Stress urinary incontinence, the type of incontinence that happens when you place pressure on the bladder, is common for men who have had their prostate removed or are undergoing other treatments for prostate cancer.  Treatment can sometimes weaken the bladder muscles, causing leakage when a man sneezes, coughs, exercises, or even during sex.  This can be extremely embarrassing for men, and can be discouraging when going through the healing process of having a prostatectomy. The good news is that many men regain full control of their bladder with time after a prostatectomy.

here are 4 tips that may help you avoid some awkward situations in the bedroom:

  • Try to watch your fluid intake in the hours leading up to sex.

  • Avoid consuming bladder irritating food and drinks, such as caffeine, chocolate, or alcohol.

  • Prior to sex, completely empty your bladder.

  • Keep a thick towel nearby in case of any accidents

While this problem can be an embarrassing one, keep in mind that many men deal with this in the months after prostate cancer treatment and with time, this condition should improve.  If you still experience problems a few months after your treatment, talk to your urologist about treatments for incontinence.  He or she can help you navigate the many options available to you and find one that fits best with your needs.

Being Intimate When You Have Incontinence

Being Intimate When You Have Incontinence

Being intimate when you manage bowel or bladder incontinence can be stress inducing. Most of us have problems talking about sex at all, and talking about problems in the bedroom is just about impossible.

It might be an uncomfortable conversation to have with your partner, but talking about what you’re dealing with is the best way to gain the support and understanding needed to get back to enjoying your sex life again.

The causes of incontinence can vary based on your particular condition so the stress of even bringing it up or the physical demands of having sex can cause exacerbate your intimacy.

Our best advice so you can enjoy intimate time with the one you love is being open and honest, and asking your doctor for suggestions and best practices.

If you need to see a specialist and are struggling to find one who meets your needs, use our directory.

Fecal Incontinence In The Bedroom

Fecal Incontinence In The Bedroom

Is fecal incontinence (FI) affecting your romantic relationships?

If you are single, do you avoid meeting new people, dating, or sex? If you're married, are you worried that your partner no longer finds you attractive? Dealing with incontinence during intimate moments can be a frustrating experience for both partners. Most of us have problems talking about sex at all, and talking about problems in the bedroom is just about impossible. It might be an uncomfortable conversation to have with your partner, but talking about Fecal Incontinence (FI) is the best way to gain the support and understanding needed to get back to enjoying your sex life again.

The causes of FI can include inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), constipation, diarrhea and, for women, weakened muscles in the anus or rectum after childbirth. In most cases, incontinence is not a permanent condition, and will improve when the cause is treated. If incontinence is a long-term issue, then dealing with the problem directly and how it affects romance becomes even more important.

Talking about fecal incontinence with your healthcare provider.

The first step to improving your sex life will be to work with your doctor, or nurse practitioner, to explore the ways that you can treat the cause of the incontinence. Make sure your healthcare provider is aware that incontinence is affecting your romantic relationships and that you are interested in finding ways to treat the problem. This can be a difficult conversation so use the words you are most comfortable with and remember that your healthcare provider has heard about all of these problems before. The treatment of FI will depend largely on the cause. Your doctor or nurse practitioner may have some new suggestions for you once you have made him or her aware of your concerns.

Think about ways your sex life can be improved. If you're avoiding intimacy, obviously you'll want to get back to it! How can you and your partner work together to make your romantic moments more fulfilling for both of you? When is incontinence the most troublesome and how can you improve it so you can enjoy your sex life? If you find that incontinence is a problem during intercourse, perhaps exploring different positions or other forms of intimacy would be helpful. If avoiding intimacy is causing you emotional stress and worsening your symptoms, perhaps beginning to talk about it with your partner will help lower your stress level.

Discussing FI with your partner.

Now for the more difficult conversation: discussing how FI affects your sex life with your current or future partner. If your partner is not already aware of the condition that's causing the incontinence, you'll want to discuss it first. You can talk about all the ways your life is affected, including everything from your job to your feelings about your medical problems. Your partner may not be aware of the stress and difficulties you are having and that you are worried about how it's affecting your relationship.

Once you both have the whole picture in mind, you can move on to discussing how FI affects your intimate moments. Bring up the ideas you have on how you can be more comfortable being romantic. Your partner will likely also have some suggestions and ideas. Work together to come up with some solutions, whether they are short-term or long-term.

When you need more help.

The above approaches will be helpful in a perfect world. But we're often not in situations or in relationships that are perfect. If your healthcare provider has not proven to be helpful you have the option of searching for a provider who is more willing to listen to your concerns. If your partner does not want to talk about your intimacy concerns, you don't have that same options. In that case you will want to seek outside help. The best option is to seek counseling as a couple but if your partner is unable or unwilling, you should seek help alone.